James Kimmel on Revenge Addiction: Breaking Free and Regain Control
James Kimmel, author of The Science of Revenge, joins the show to unpack one of the most overlooked forms of distraction and emotional hijacking: revenge. Drawing from neuroscience, psychology, and decades of legal and public health research, James reveals how revenge isn’t just an emotional reaction—it’s an addictive cycle that can derail our focus, well-being, and relationships. If you’ve ever ruminated about a workplace slight, stewed in a sense of injustice, or mentally put someone “on trial,” this episode offers a powerful, science-backed path forward.
In this episode, we cover:
- What Makes Revenge So Addictive: How grievances activate the same reward centers in the brain as drugs, gambling, and other addictive behaviors.
- Revenge as a Productivity Killer: Why revenge always focuses on the past—and how it hijacks our mental and emotional bandwidth in the present.
- The Courtroom in Your Head: James explains the mental trial many of us run daily, casting ourselves in all the roles—prosecutor, judge, jury, and warden.
- Grievance vs. Reality: The neuroscience behind how imagined slights are often just as powerful as real ones.
- Workplace Revenge Culture: How toxic tit-for-tat behavior spreads through teams and how leaders can disrupt it before it takes root.
- Rewiring the Feedback Loop: How revenge follows the same cue-craving-reward cycle as other habits—and how to break it.
- The Science of Forgiveness: Why forgiveness isn’t “soft,” but rather a neurological off-ramp from pain and rumination that reactivates the decision-making part of the brain.
- The Wonder Drug in Your Brain: How practicing internal forgiveness shuts down pain networks and reduces stress, anxiety, and cortisol levels.
- Practical Tools for Release: James shares how his free app helps users safely process their grievances through guided mental courtroom exercises.
- Healing as Productivity: Why letting go doesn’t just make you feel better—it frees up your energy for purpose-driven work and emotional clarity.
Connect with James and his work at jameskimmel.com and find The Science of Revenge wherever books are sold.
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- Make sure to grab Shortcasts from Beyond The To-Do List by Blinkist. A Shortcast is a 7-10 min version of a podcast where you get the core takeaways.