Marriage Communication: Rules and Tools That Actually Work with Jackie Kelley

Marriage communication looks different when both partners are neurodivergent — so Jackie Kelley and her husband built their own rules from scratch.

Jackie Kelley is a neurodivergent storyteller, illustrator, wife, and mother based in Gilbert, Arizona. Through her social media content and viral "Marriage Rules" videos, she helps couples build communication rhythms that actually fit their lives. Her book is So You Married a Human: The Totally Doable, Unconventional Guide to a Thriving Partnership(Zondervan, 2026).

In this conversation, we cover:

• Self-regulation before communication: Why you can't talk through a fried nervous system — and what "getting yourself right" actually looks like before a hard conversation happens.
• The email rule: How writing instead of talking transformed the worst season of Jackie and her husband's marriage, and why the format matters as much as the content.
• Microwave vs. crockpot: What happens when two people process emotions at completely different speeds — and how to stop mistaking slow processing for passive aggression.
• Tell me more: The practical shift from "why are you being so difficult" to getting curious, and why it works especially when neither person is actually wrong.
• Marriage on autopilot: How couples quietly lose the fact that they like each other, and what scheduling intentional fun actually gives back.

If the standard marriage advice has ever felt like it was written for someone else's brain — or someone else's relationship — this conversation is worth your time. Jackie makes a genuine case that building structure into a marriage isn't the opposite of romance. It's what makes room for it. Grab So You Married a Human wherever books are sold.

Connect with Jackie:

• soyoumarriedahuman.com
• @stayathomejackie on Instagram

Connect with Erik

• LinkedIn
• Threads
• Facebook
• Bluesky

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